grass and birds

The air lies still around me,
stymied by all my not having-weighed down with all my worries.
Heavy upon my chest, stealing relief-not granting it.
I with bated breath and clinched eyes lay still, maybe the air will forget that I am here, and impress its realities upon someone else.
But it remains, stale-its insistent silence its response- to my pleadings.

Fortune Cookie

You reappeared did you not?

I was warned was I not?

But you came again,

quietly, surely, you came again.

Stirring up the red clay dust of hope that lays on the ground of my soul.

Long settled, long undisturbed.

I with teary eyes strain to see your face, through the haze.

You smell of the earth, you smell of my dreams, you smell of my pain.

I reach for you, hoping, oh hoping, that with touch I can recall your form.

That I could remember what fingertips long have put to memory.

But it is not you, I find, no not the form that I once knew.

You are different, the same,but different,

somehow,

someway.

All the words I had prepared to send you away now fail me,

trapped in my throat.

You've come again, but you are new.

Somehow all things are new.

Untold

Wipe the sleep out of your eyes ,

early morning to night.

You have been sleep too long,

enchanted into still slumber.

Like the princess in the tower-waiting-not dead, yet not living.

For no one is coming to save you.

The childhood tales were not true.

Their is no knight, no trusty stead, no valiant honor.

Wipe the sleep out of your eyes, arise and wake

their is much to make of this life

their is much to do in this time.

And what was whispered, the spell that was spun was not truth ,but well intended, lies.

Oh heart,

oh daughters.

Eyes to see,

lips to taste,

feet walk.

Begin, begin

against ,perhaps, your own will

walk, maybe, poorly.

But you must do

But you must live so

Arise from your bed of waiting and go.

Winter Solstice

Our love began in the dead of winter,
outside twelve degrees, trees bare, ground asleep.
On the longest and darkest night of the year,
bursting forth blue and burning like a young star just born out of a callismal occurance.
Most star systems have companions,you know.
Solitary stars like our sun are rare,
an island in space quarantined by light years.

Foresight

I want to live in a place where the Spanish moss swings, hangs,
as low and as heavy as the humidity.
Fresh fruit,
fragrant,
from trees,
gathered by barefeet, early morning dew covered,
for breakfast.
I want to live in an old sage-painted wood house that smells of mahagony, cinnamon and cloves.
Where the stairs always creek,
and there are candled mason jars lined in the windows,
a beacon of light guiding you home.

heavy

I come beladen: books,
bags, purses,
a bed, a couch,
square plates, those fancy wine glasses you always like,
my two favorite coffee mugs
my polaroid camera and
one red Underwoood typewriter.
Tracking guilt onto your welcome doormat, I leave my things on your foyer.
You, instead,
indeed, without question,
make cups of African Rooibos tea, heavy on the honey, light on the judgement,
drink with me.
Silently, intuitively,
you know,
knew, always that I'd be back this way.
Suddenly, all at once.

perfect.

Who heard?

A cry breaks forth,
pathway linearly upward,
inward-out.
From heart to mouth
soul must speak.
Wounded cry rumbles out,
sound breaks forth---
scattering the silence.
Like a flock of pigeons disturbed by fleeing feet
and waving hands.
Only again
to resettle.

Amiss

You came at night,
you midnight maruaders.
I with deep sleep upon my brow,
unbeknownst, unbeknownst.
Pillaging, robbing from mind memories,
from heart sentiments
from hands tactile recollections.
I left with suppositions,
of what I once knew of what was known.
Now like a dream of a memory.

The introduction

Give me neither poverty nor riches;feed me with the food that is needful for me,lest I be full and deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?”or lest I be poor and steal .
-Agur-

..this is the introductory passage to a short fiction story I am working on, bred out of ponderings on above passage, a bit of character development..mmmhmmm

I will not be defined by weaknessess,
he thought, he spoke to himself
by means of prepardness
he readied himself
Pupils dilated
heart racing
hand on the trigger
he steadied himself.
And does the end justify the means?
When family's mouth is not fed, no reception of their daily bread,
but forgive me for those whom I now trespass against to accomplish this hit.
And with quick steps he approached the counter four quiet words he said,
gun now outstreched pointing at her head.
"Give me your money"
For this was his win,his redemption him born again .
when doors had closed and it had seemed that God forgot to open the window.
when he had pushed,
and pushed
and pushed .
When it seemed there was no other way
when he no longer knew what to say when he went to pray.
one desperate word he'd mutter,
So the steel in his hand was his saviour,
cold and hard,
in this automatic he trusts.
The son in his trinity of desperation
fathered by worry and aided by the spirit of consternation.
Got to win hes facing his souls redemption,
he's desperate to win,
the end is his,
the use of this force,
this means justification.

Covenant Conception ( Grandma Now Has Grey Eyes)

Give me daugthers with eyes like yours he said
As he softly laid her down to sow his seed
Then gently crawled between her knees,into her heat.
and he was apt,
and he was ample.
For in them I see strength that could move mountains, said he,
wisdom that is ancient in its truth.
For in them I see the those who came before,
kinship of slaves
heart ,might,soul of a queen ,
For in you I see those who came before,
kinship of queens
heart might soul of ancient dynastys
And now those who will come after
And now those who will come after

a past life, a life past

4.56
4.57
4.58
4.59
five
5pm
Friday night, the streets and my heart buzz of weekend excitement,
the spring night is before me
I move swiftly through Richmond streets
To the local market bottle of wine , movie in hand,
and the necessities of a meal befit for royalty.
Easy on the garlic in the pesto this time,
caramailize the onions,
saute the chicken
dont forget the dark chocolate drizzle for the dessert.
And the table is set
and the dinner is made
and the wine is poured
and the movie begins to play
and dessert is in the oven on its way.
And for a while there I thought you were on your way home,
And for a while there I forgot that I am now alone,
and for a while there I..
I,
I......damn this singleness .

Dilemma

I awake before the rise of the sun, I stand barefoot on cold tiled floor
warm coffee mug cuffed in hand,
heavy on the cream .
I am awake, alive now
I can feel it.
Your words drew me here you know,
stirring slumbering heart
then soul
now mind out of sleep.
Luring me to pursue spaces of silences to ponder realitys formed in our mingling
And you use words like pens and paintbrushes to paint anew ,
a clearer vision of what I thought I knew, of what I had found in you .
You ensure while assuring me that this much is true,
you instruct my mind ,so that it may to teach my heart to believe,
you teach my lips, my hands, all faculties to recieve.
And this is not fallicious,
deductive reasoning lends logical assurance to what was known as true
no ,no the end is truly you.

these days

The edges of my soul are strecthed to engulf,
to hold, fully embrace long standing sentiments.
Like the Israelites in Egypt
hoping
waiting
frogs for the muttering,
Moses set me free.

foresight

I know what you will do,
what she will say
I know how my heart will break
and what shall I say?
Thank you God for this pain?

chatterley

I wish he knew that he was losing me.
Thought it was I he had,
me ,he had captured.
But, I ,
slip through his fingers even now
and I dont want to ,
I dont know how not to.
My heart is wild ,
my mind even more so.
More than he knows,
more than I know.

on her way

Ive got to stop wanting to love you,
I heard,
she said,
passerby shouted solicited advice into cell phone attached to her head.
And then ,
it was clear?
unforgivably.
That i should let go?
unmistakably.

something small

You calm the inward storms,
wind , rain and threat ceases.
You never knew ,
did you my friend?
what you do,
what you do,
what you do.
Head to the sky,perceiving,
you watch for their coming,
you celebrate their depart,
hold my eyes steady on the going through.
My deepest,
my sincerest,
gratitude to you.

regretfully.

I listen.
Ear pressed against layers of lyrics and strings,
harmonies and syncopations,
for any indication,
for what I hope for ,
for what is not sure.
Tonight ,
simplistically,
surely, purely,
child -like.
And what was that you said,
that its all in my head?

gray hair

"Education is teaching our children to desire the right things"
-Plato-
For some reason this quote has been haunting my thoughts..once processed output to follow. .
muse..muse...muse....